Life has been very weird lately.  Is it because I’m truly happy and I’m not used to it anymore?

One of the things I dislike about my life was work but now it has become tolerable.  Okay, even.  I’m still very open to explore other job opportunities but at least I don’t wake up hating my life (and he-who-must-not-be-named) as soon as I open my eyes.  I used to do that, just dreading whatever day it is just because I have to go to work.

We’ve been busier but it’s because we have so much backlogs.  I can’t believe there were so many things that we have to catch up on.  But there are days now that I even enjoy working because I have more time to do things I’m supposed to do.  There are less meetings (almost none! Except for a few very important ones ofc) and there was no more nagging feeling.  I just feel some sort of pressure to do well, to do better.  And I guess that’s the purpose of all of this anyway.  I also don’t want to burn bridges and leave with so many things unresolved at work.  So I really want to fix whatever needs to be done before I look for a new job (again).

Another thing is… my heart seems to be at peace now.  For the past couple of years it has always been all over the place.  My emotions, my mood, almost everything about me revolves around other people, especially around stupid boys whom I felt romantic connections with.  Most of the situations I was in were so toxic, unhealthy, and all of them didn’t end well.  But now I’m experiencing the slowest burn of all HAHAHA.  Friendship, great communication, it’s like the best foundation I could ever ask for.  Everyday I’m still surprised how things can be SO EASY.   I’m starting to think I have always been the red flag all along, haha.  We have no idea what are we going to do in the future but we’re slowly talking about it, too.  We’re both not in a rush and we’re fine with how things are.  We just need to see a clearer picture if we want to make this work.  Hopefully, soon.  But I would like us both to move at our own pace and not feel pressured because of other people’s expectations.

I honestly feel so, so lucky but it’s almost embarrassing to even admit that.  Haha.

Now that it’s Holy Week and I have a lot of time to think and reflect, I’m just grateful because of how things are slowly falling into place for me.  I’m thankful for friends (who I don’t contact often, I know I need to work on this!) and family (who always sees me at my worst), and just for every little thing.  Some parts of my life still suck but overall, I’m pretty good.  For the first time in a long time, I don’t wish for anything more.  I’m content.

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