I’m so so so sad.

Like, I don’t-want-to-go-out-anymore kind of sad.  I rarely post about my fandom in this blog but I just have a lot of feelings since yesterday and I just couldn’t ignore it.

So last night, Seventeen announced their Asian Tour– HECK YEAH.  But when I saw that they will be in Manila on September 29, my heart sank.  Of all dates to come back here in the Philippines, they decided to go on the 29th.  I will be in Japan on that day.  I just paid the airfare yesterday, too.

I cried and panicked but that led me nowhere.  I listed all the pros and cons, listed all possible options, and for now, I think, I’m giving up Japan.

It might sound ridiculous to some but I’ve said this before: I’ll drop anything if Seventeen comes back.  I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  My friends and family probably have no idea how much seeing Seventeen again meant to me.  For the past months that I’ve been feeling incredibly sad and empty, they were there.  I didn’t want to sound too cheesy and dramatic, but it’s true.  Nothing makes me happier than these boys.

Will I regret not going to Japan, the country I’ve been dreaming of since I was in 10? For sure.  I was beyond excited to go with Maan to Harry Potter World for the first time, too 🙁 We’ve been planning this trip for months! But I repeatedly ask myself if I don’t go to Seventeen’s concert, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

I went to Diamond Edge Concert last year, barely three weeks into the fandom, can you imagine how in love I was (and still am!).  It was arguably one of the best moments of my life.  Seeing Junhui and all the others sing and dance a meter from where I was standing still gives me chills.   It’s surreal.  I’d do anything to experience it all over again.

I believe in miracles and if God gives me the chance to both go to Japan AND see Seventeen here in Manila, I’d take it in a snap.  Now all I can do is wait.

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